It's been a while. I've been posting more on MySpace since it's easier to do it all at one spot. Infact, from now if you want to read what i have to say, go to http://www.myspace.com/longle10. This will probably be my last entry here. To all I hope to see you on my myspace page.

Take it easy all.

I just posted a simular one in myspace, but I feel for that, it had to be customized more towards an ADD crowd where as here I can elaborate more on my thoughts.

To recap what I said:
I've been pretty busy with work and all that it's just nuts. Been working the mad hours and so I'm hoping that my manager will notice and help me out later on. I ended up working with a guy on my project that is just way too smart for his own good. This guy is the goto guy for my WHOLE company when it comes to software, and he lives just right down the road from my office. This guy was my savior. He helped me out with everything I needed to get the system up. He and I got to talk and he was was telling me if I wanted he'd get me involved with sales work (SWEET!) which will really boost my career, I hope. This is a guy I will forever hold as a business contact.

Slowly, I'm getting sucked into my job more and more. I feel like I am going back on my words of "work to live, not live to work" but at the same time, I feel like I am starting to enjoy my job more when I meet people like this guy who is so excited about this type of work. I do believe in the saying that "if you have a job you like/love, you will never work a day in your life" and I feel that I am starting to get that way. I just do not know how much I want to get sucked in to where all I do is work and nothing outside of it. Then again if I like it, I will be prone to want to spend my time doing that.
--myspace

I have been working about 11/12 hour days since starting this project. My client wants us there from 7-6ish. For me thats a commute since I live about 40 miles away. That means that I need to get up around 530 (about 15 mins of snooze), bolt from home no later than 610 or else I'm totally hosed for traffic. Once home from work I make it a point to hit the gym MWF regardless of how tired I am. It's one of the few activities I do during the week to let me know that I am still alive and also just relax (if you can think of going to the gym relaxing). For me it is more of mental down time. Since at work, I and just sitting infront of a screen for most of the day, I need to get some physical activity in me, but also during the gym I am not thinking of anything which is nice. After gym time, I look for something to eat, then sleep. Rince, lather, and repeat. That is my week

As for just random, last night I meet up with B. who I have not seen in forever and bro for drinks. End up there was a pretty big group, and also some other people showed up later. Of the people showing up later, this girl L. who I haven't seen in about 3 years shows up. I recognize her instantly because we went to a concert together with a few other people. Just so random. When I saw her I hung back because she wasn't the nicest of people I meet and I doubt she remembers me which is good. Smaller world then I thought I guess, and thats pretty small.

My cuz A. is in town from VA. I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. This week was perfectly planned out. My time in MN did not get extended, so the 17th was my last day. My new project does not start till 12/4 so thats good times. I do have training next week in Tornoto so that should be fun. I have not been to training in almost 1.5 years so it is about damn time I got to learn some new stuff. This will be my first time ever to be in Canada so it should be cool to see. I was told to see the hockey hall of fame and I will look for other things as well. Hopefully I will have time and not tons of homework from training.

Being Thankgiving week, I find it interesting that the hoidays are ever changing. All the kids are now grown up and off doing their own things. Take this week 10 years ago, and we all just be hanging out with each other going to movies or the mall, or whatever we find ourselves into. Fastfoward to today, we are all busy with our lives. Bro is working, N. is busy with his business, A. lives in VA and comes down once every 2 years or so. R. & P. are in college. 10 years from now I want to say we will all be in different states or countries even. I will miss out on the last few days A. will be here because of work. R. left back to college today to catch up on work and whatnot before finals kick start in about 2-3 weeks.

A. is the only one to leave and never come back. I was the second to leave, but came back after college. I feel that R., bro, and I will be the next to leave. I know R. does not really want to come back and bro is dying to leave. I still have about 1-2 years before I seriously consider leaving. I think about it from time to time, and struggle with myself on that issue. I do like to leave and move somewhere for a while, have my own place, my own life, etc...much like when I was in college. At the sametime like A. he only comes back every few years. Of course there is no saying I could never come back. Just will it be that easy. I have had friends say they want to move back to their college town, only to fail and now look back 10 years later.

Well off to snack and see what else the night has in store. Maybe I'll go up to the usual water hole and hang out with L. She's great.

I find it interesting that it seems we professionals tend to work longer hours. Of course I mean from the stand point of blue collar jobs vs white collar jobs. Now I'm not saying that blue collar jobs are cake walks either. My mom works some pretty serious hours a week, more than than what an average person every does. She sometimes goes two straight weeks of working before taking a day off. In fact as far as I can remember, my mom has always worked at least 6 days a week for the past at least 15 years. On average I would say it's a safe bet that she is working at least 55 if not up to 80+ hours a week. The days were she pulls 12 hours days and is able to do it again is just amazing to me. At the same time though, she signs up for all of this. With overtime pay and double time pay, money is a strong incentive. If she really wanted to, she can just work 40 hours a week have 2 days off a week.

I can't speak for all, but in consulting you are considered a white collar. As with most white collar jobs, you are salaried/exempt. Meaning you get paid the same regardless if you put in 0 hours that week or 100 hours. Instead of say volunteering for more work because of money, we volunteer to get ahead. Of course it does boil down to money because we are looking for that promotion so thus we take on more at work. However humans for the most part are short sighted. We tend to do things for the pay off now, instead of the pay off later. Another difference between blue vs white I've noticed is that with blue, it's more "shift" work. You clock in at a certain time and clock out at a certain time. With white, you have more lax hours. I'm a prime example in that I don't come into the office till 830am. Of course I leave at around 6pm and usually eat my lunch in front of my laptop working at the same time.

I guess overall, we're all working the same hours, just when. My mom and I sometimes have these arguments about how I am still working at 8pm at night sometimes, because something needs to get done tomorrow. She's of the idea that once you leave, work, you're done. Also with the idea that at a certain hour, you leave work, regardless of how much is left. I know with my job, thats not always the case. You work until the job is done, and if that means working till 130am, like I did one night, so be it. Of course after that night, I told my lead that I was not coming in until 10am since I worked so late and she was fine with that. Granted I am now working on a Saturday to finish some work, but I guess the flexible hours are worth it.

What a day. I went to the wrong terminal this morning and had to call AMEX to find out where the hell I was flying from. I thought it was NWA, but I was flying on AA. AHHHHH! Anyway, I'm finally in Minneapolis and I pretty much just sat around all day. Did some check over work but thats about it. Weird is that I got an email to apply for a position with this consulting company I'm looking at and I decided to apply for the hell of it. I've decided to stay at my current company, but that doesn't mean I won't leave if the right opportunity came along. Well either way, I got call tonight from that company. It totally caught me off guard and I totally was not prepared for the phone screening. I tried to answer to the best of my ability, but from what I could tell the guy, he said that I just don't have enough experience. He said he'll still pass my res to a Sr. manager and see what they think. If the manager likes what he sees he'll bring it up to the next level and I will get a phone interview. I'm semi-excited, but it's doing more of the same shite work as I am now. I don't know. If it doesn't work out, I still have my job now still. The main goal is MBA school now so we'll see. Thinking about it either annoys me that I'm not already there or pisses me off.

I have not written in a while and wanted to say hi. I'm actually on a con. call right now and totally not paying attention, lol. Good times.

Hey everyone, it has been at least week since I wrote anything so here is a news flash.

I was in NJ/NYC last week visiting K. and meeting her super cool roommate J. They showed me a great time around NJ and NYC. I had such a great time I cannot wait to go back there. I'm so glad I meet K. She is the best thing to happen to me. I miss her so much now that I am not there with her right now.

In other news, as of when I am writing this I have just hit my 1 year anniversary with my company. I can't believe I have been doing this job for a year now. Fun times. At least I get matching in my 401k now.

Second news...my birthday is on the 19th. I cannot believe that I will be 24. Sigh. I feel like I am hitting a mid-life crisis or something. Pretty soon, I will be buying a Porsche. LOL.

Thats all in a quick summary.

I FUCKING HATE COPS! What a shit day. First of all, I drop my bike when I was trying to lube the chain, so that sucked. At least it was a 0 mph drop, but still, that sucks a huge ass. Second, on the way back from the airport from taking bro (elmnopo) where he's taking off to Seattle for 2 weeks with chica, I get 2 tickets. First ticket was for speeding...going 71 in a 60. GOD DAMN IT ALL! I always go 70 down that highway for years and now..BAM, ticket. The second ticket was for out-of-date state inspection which I have no beef about since that is totally my fault. Really though I can't blame anyone but myself because There are signs that clearly post the speed limit as 60 and by the letter of the law I was breaking it so I guess all in all, I deserved it. Even that, I still hate cops. Instead of giving out speedings tickets why don't you pig fuckers go solve some real crimes...like murders, but some drug rings...shit like that? Worthless!!!!

This week has been quite chill. Today I pretty much accomplished nothing work related at all. I was going to take a few training classes, but that totally fell through. Oh well, there is always next week seeings how now I have no internal work to do. Amazingly I have gone to the gym everyday this week. I feel good. I cannot remember the last time I actually worked out for a full week. Until it is time for me to fly off to my next project I plan on going to the gym everyday and try to make the most of my time at home. Tomorrow will be a relaxed day, but I still think I will head to the gym regardless because they have this fun outdoor water park. My cousin P. and I will probably head there sometime tomorrow. As we are both older than the typical kids that actually play there and by far younger than any of the parents, we plan on just playing around the pool and then just relaxing and enjoy the sun.

Amazingly I have not been to our usual water hole this week. I think the last time I went was on a Monday maybe to watch game 5 of the NBA finals. Since then I have not been back. Quite the interesting phenomenon since I have spent pretty the past year there every weekend. This week has been spending my nights at home play Need For Speed Most Wanted (NFSMW), going to bed early, or I would spend the night talking to K. I am really excited to go see her during the week of 4th of July as is she. This will be the first time I will see here in over 3 weeks. I feel she is probably the sub-conscious reason I have been staying home this week. There are other factors as well such as: everyone was working, overdosing on the waterhole, getting up at 8am every morning myself. I feel though that those maybe excuses I am using to not go out, but really I like to spend time at home and talk to K. since we do not get to see each other on a daily basis, and also the fact this is the closest I will get to her before I see her again. Of all things, I have not even been really riding my bike this week at all. I figured I would be riding my bike a lot since I started on the bench, but really I have not really gone anywhere. Perhaps this weekend, I will take jaunt around town. As much as I like riding around, I find myself looking for a target to ride to. When it comes to aimless riding, I tend to not have an idea of where to go and thus I end up not going anywhere. There are a few places I need to go find though. I hear there is this great highway out west so I might take a ride out there this weekend to see it.

Tonight I had dinner with my cousin P. and her friend L. P. always finds a way to make me laugh and smile. I feel bad for her in that her dad is very protective of her and really does not allow her to go out too often. It saddens me to know that she is going to be entering her 2nd year in college yet she does not really have the "freedom" of a typical college student who goes get breakfast at 3am with their friends. She and I were talking about how she wants to move out but further away. She may transfer from her current school to another school just to be able to move out of from under the reign of her parents. I do not blame her but I hope she is able to move out while still staying at the same school. Well time to crash or something...lol.

Well after sitting here tonight I have decided to get try to get back into the fold of LJ and MySpace. A lot has happened to me since the last time I have posted to you.

As you can see below from my last post I have hooked up with a girl from my project. Well, lots has changed. Since then of all the things in the world to happen, I have rolled off my project. Un-fucking-believable! All this time
I wish to get the hell out of Milwaukee, and now it has finally happened. The thing was that when I last posted that, it was on the Sunday before I took off to Milwaukee. That Tuesday, the 6th, I found out I was rolling off the project from my manager.
I had a meeting with him about a raise (KICK ASS!) but at the same time I was going to ask him about moving into a different roll on the project that would allow me to be more involved in testing, but as I mentioned that to him, he said "Yeah...about that, you're rolling off
the project. Pack your stuff up because this Friday is your last day." I was in complete shock. I was literally like Bartleby up until I meet Kristin. I was ready to end the fucking world to get the hell out of that shit hole. I thought I was going to be stuck there till at least
the end of this year and maybe into the end of 2007. When I meet Kristin, she actually made it tolerable to go to that forsaken hell hole of a city. Of course just when something good happens to me, something bad comes along. I get rolled off. Ironically the day I found
I was rolling off the project was on 06/06/06. FUCK YEAH! I succeeded where Bartleby failed. I was going to bring the end of all existence to get the hell out of there and I finally did on the glorious day of 06/06/06. For those of you who do not know by now I truly hate
Milwaukee and the state of Wisconsin for that matter. I swear if we gave that state to Canada, no one would ever know the difference. If anyone ever tells/asks you to go to Wisconsin, do the following:

1. Ask them, "Why the fuck would you go there?!?!"


2. If they still try to convince you to go, tell them to fuck off and die. Seriously, fuck off and die!

Why anyone would want to live/go to a state where the temperature in the winter time it goes to -10 and consider that normal, just roll up a newspaper, slap them squa(cartman reference) in the face and say "NO!".

I digress and get back to my events. When I told Kristin, she was pretty heart broken. Of all things, on that Sunday, the 4th, I had planned to go to Hoboken with her this weekend. If I was still on the project I would be sitting in her apartment right now with her and this post would
be very different. Well the hate for Wisconsin would still be the same. =) She did take it a lot better than I thought. She knew this day would come where one of us would be leaving the project but both of us did not expect it to be that soon. To my amazement, She was wanting to keep things going between us. Today will mark the 2nd week since I have been gone from the project. She was actually happy that I was leaving the project in that at least one of us should be getting out of there. She is slated to be there until at least November, and maybe even longer. Also she was happy because I was not really growing career wise there anymore. I had pretty much learned all I could from there and it was about time that I moved onto a new project and into a new roll. I was sad not only for leaving Kristin, but also for leaving the friends that I have made since being there. We had grown into a pretty tight group of people and it's sad to see one of use go, especially when it's you after being there for so long. I have made bonds there I will never forget and connections to people that can for sure help me out later on in life. It is one of the many down falls when it comes to consulting.

I have been on the bench for about 2 weeks now. Thats consultant talk for not being on a project and just sitting on your ass at home until they find you something new. I have filled most of my days with the World Cup and misc internal work for my company. Also of all thing, even better now, I am going to Hoboken to hang out with Kristin from July 2nd to 8th. Bro is going to be in Seattle then and I figured might as well do something as well. I have not been to Hoboken before and It was just a subway ride away from NYC so I plan on seeing all the touristy stuff while I am there since the last time I was in NYC was about 12-15 years ago. Now armed with my digi cam and a cute tour guide, I'll check out all the fun stuff. I'm pretty excited about going up there, but as Kristin would says, it is a big step in our relationship. Up till now, we have only spent about 2-3 hours together at most, but now I will basically be living with her for a week. She is a little stress out about making sure I do not get bored or anything like that, but I have tried to calm her down in that we should just take it easy and go with the flow.

Well everyone, thats pretty much was been happening in my life. These 2 weeks at home have been great. I have not really done much work, watched the World Cup everyday, going the gym everyday, talking to Kristin as much as possible and on top of all that...I'm still getting PAID! KICK VERY MUCH ASS! Of course I need to get back onto a project as soon as I get back from Hoboken because right now my utilization is falling. Quick info on that. For consultants you'll always here about their "utilization". That is where the company takes the # of hours you are billable to the client and divide that over the # of work hours in a year. So you get (40 hours a week * 52 weeks) and thats the total of hours in the year which is 2080 hours. You then take the # of hours you were billable to the client over the year and divide by 2080 and that is your utilization %. My company has a standard of 85%. So for every week I'm not billable on a project my % falls. Now to those who wonder why this is so important, well this % will play into my yearly performance evaluation which then determines raises and promotions next year. It's pretty important for consultants. Which brings me to my second piece of advice about consulting. To those thinking about doing it...DON'T! As we say consultants say, "take an industry job" meaning your regular office job 8-5. The travel and the extra money they pay is not worth it. It sucks. You never really have a constant place you're staying at and you may think you're going to be traveling to exotic places...WRONG! You'll end up in Milwaukee or Bumble-fuck-middle-of-nowhere-shit-hole-town USA. You never really have constant friends or anything. The time you miss from home during those days on the road are not worth the pay. Learn from my mistakes grasshopper.

World,

I haven't been posting as of late because I now taken ladies. Not like I was fending off girls left and right, but I have found this girl on my project and she is great. She works for the same company as me and we both work hate just as much. She's great. I've been spending pretty much every night with her for the past 2 weeks and staying up late. Quick profile on her. She and I work for the same awful corporation. She's from upstate NY, near Syracuse, NY. She just moved to Hoboken, NJ for work and I'm actually flying out to hang with her on the weekend of the 23rd. She's Irish, so she's white as milk. Her hair is red and her nickname is "Fireball". So far we're having fun for the time being since we're both on the project together. But who knows what happens when our stints end on this project. She may roll off before me or I before her. When the time comes we'll deal with that, but as for now, let the good times roll!!!

Johnny, happy birthday man!!! Hopefully this new year will bring better prosperity than last year. I'll pour one out for ya brother! We'll have to celebrate this weekend
since I have a 3 day weekend. Lets rock!

Last weekend was a blast. I went to Austin for the first time in months. I chose this weekend in particular because it was the last weekend of class so all of my old college buddies were out. This could be the last time I hang out with a few of them as they are graduating and moving onto their first jobs. I went and ate at a lot of the old college hits. Pluckers (awesome wings), County Line(some of the best baby back ribs ever), and Delaware subs (some of the best cheese steaks in the world). I'm so happy to actually find out that Delaware subs is actually come to my home town F-dub so good things are to come. Since going to Austin, I've come to learn that this is the town I want to settle in. There are many features of Austin that I find are hard to get anywhere else

1. UT. I'd have one of the best universities in my backyard. I could pretty much take night classes fairly easy since I'm an alumni and all.


2. The university keeps the town fairly young a active in that you have over 30k undergrads in the city. There is always something to do.


3. It's an outdoors city. There is always something going on, from something as simple as biking down up and down Townlake, or hitting
   the hills in the country side. Disc golf, out door concerts, or just toobing in the sumer time.
   

These are just a few of the things that make Austin unique and makes me feel that is where I'd like to make my permanent home. As for now with this job I have it would be pointless for me to move down there unless I were to buy a house. Otherwise, staying in DFW would be the better solution since DFW airport is the hub for AA and having direct flights to my job is very convenient. If I were to live in Austin, I'd have to connect through DFW if not all, most of the time.

So far this week has been pretty good. I meet this awesome girl on my project named Kristin who is just a blast to be around. She and I get along really well. We both complain about our jobs, and I really like how she is very laid back, yet a gunner to do her best when given a task. She is from Mexico, NY if you can believe that. She's very open to me and just a really fun person to be around. She totally made my week go by a lot faster and smoother than other weeks. I'm not sure if I want to try to take it to the next level with her. She's fun to be around, but I don't want to make it all weird since we do work with each other. Oh man...office flings, ROFL. The only reason I even contemplating this is because we text each other a lot, but she is also an mad texter anyway. I wonder if she's just being friendly with me or if she's interested as well. We did go out for dinner on Wednesday night and pretty much just hung out all night. Fun times. For the first time maybe, I think I'm actually happy to goto Milwaukee because I'll get to see her. WTF is happening to me? LOL

Of course I flew home Thursday night as per usual and worked at home today. Clocked out at 4pm, worked out, did a little cleaning around the house, rode my bike. Good things. The interesting thing is that I got a call from my dad. He is setting me up on a lunch date next Saturday with one of his friend's daughter. Now as many of you know who read this, I'm down for hooking up with a girl, but I'm weary of this. My dad somewhat has an idea of the girl I like, but I feel this is going to be a big miss. I'll keep you all posted on what is going on. As for tomorrow, I might meet my dad for lunch pending when he's free. I have temple time on Sunday at noon, but I hopefully will go riding with Isis on Sunday. I have to say that this is one of the many down falls of this job. My weekends get cut pretty short so the time that I'm here, I'm try to pack all the things I want to do, but it seems that other people seem to try to pack in their schedules into me as well. Sigh. I know I'm going to hell for this, but you know what, we all are, just how deep; the ideal situation is that I'll hook up with Kristin, so she'll be my NYC/Milwaukee girl, and I'll have another girl down here. LOL. Knowing my luck though, that won't happen, or if it does, I'll screw it up somehow. Well, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow could be jammed pack or a whole lot of nothing. Night world

As I sit in my condo in Milwaukee, I cannot help but contemplate all the ifs. Ifs such as, what if I were to do this or that. Apply for a local job back in Dallas? Been more/less aggressive with trying to date a girl. Just all the random stuff I wonder could be different. I do not know why I'm contemplating all this because what is done is done and there is nothing I can do about it now. I will say I'm excited to go back to Austin this weekend and hang out with all my old college friends, but I have this feeling of emptiness inside. I feel like I need something to make me complete. What that is I'm not sure. I have my bike finally after years of drooling and do not get me wrong, I have tons of fun on it. But I guess I need to find something else in my life other than work when I am away from home and my bike. I just cannot figure out what it is that I am looking for or want.

What happened today? I felt like I got hit by a truck. I crash at about midnight last night and got up at 7 for work and I feel like I got no sleep at all. I'm just super tired and totally dragging ass today. I was going to work out, but now I feel so tired that I just want to go home, crash for a little, get up eat, do some more work then pass back out again. WTF happened here. As for the upside, I got bits of good moments here and there. I got a test from Isis, which is awesome. She's so cool, totally made my day. Second I found out there will be a Delaware Subs opening up in Ft. Worth. Totally kick ass. For all those who don't know, it's a sub shop in Austin, that has to make some of the best sandwiches I've ever had IMHO. As I sit at my "hotel" (my desk for those who don't know) it's about 4:30pm right now and I'm just killing time before 5:30 when I'm going to jet because my Lead is gone this week.

Plans for tonight:

1. Go home and pass out for a few hours


2. Wake up, eat some cereal and milk, something quick


3. Do somemore work and pass out again for the night

I cannot believe it. I was working yesterday at home as usual and then out of no where guess who IMs me. My psycho ex-g/f who I have not talked to atleast 3-4 years. Here is a quick background. I meet her back in my junior year of high school...holy crap that was when I was 16. Anyway, I meet her when my mom dragged me out on a temple outing to the lake. She was the desk girl working at a boat rental place and we had gotten a boat for the day. She was beautiful. When we got back, to the docks, she had just gotten off work and we ended up hanging out the rest of the day by the lake. This is like generic teenage love movie written all over it. When then exchange emails...and the bad times begin. We keep in touch with emails for the next year but she was a miss or hit when it came to that. She would not write me back for like 2 months then I would get a barrage of emails from her over the span of a week. I tell her I'm going to UT Austin because that is where she wanted to go as well. Now things go really weird. When I first moved down there, she had planned to come down that weekend. Ended up she flaked out on me, big surprise right? Over the next few weeks we play phone tag and she begins to accuse me of cheating on her because I'm never around and I tell her that she is a flake because every time she calls me she says she's coming up that weekend but "something" always comes up. We end up not really talking that much from that but the once in a while email for the rest of the year. My 2nd year of college rolls in, and just after a few nights of being back in Austin, I get a call from her, telling me that she is in Austin. Excited I go see her. This is the first time I've seen her in like 2 years. We meet up and hang out for the rest of the night. She tells me she's pledging for a sorority ZTA. I'm not too excited about it but it's her thing. The next few months become interesting in that she never returns my calls and if she does, she's accusing me of sleeping with other girls and that I don't like her, etc etc. But the weird part is that She would call me up every few weeks telling me loved me and wanted to be with me. WTF. Like johnnygomez says "a girl's gotta bring more than crazy to the table...if thats all she's bringing then forget it." We go through this for the next year or so. She's call me, tell me she wanted to be with me, I'd fall for it, go to her, we'd hang out for a few weeks until she went all nuts on and and accused me of cheating on her, then like 2 months of no contact, then back again. This goes on for the next year. Why i keep falling for this you ask...2 reasons. 1) I am dumb. Not just dumb, I am D-U-M dumb. 2) I wanted to be able to say I slept with a sorority girl...lol. How fucked up am I? Well come into the last few weeks of 2nd year spring semester, I accomplish goal 2. After a night of being on 6th St. (where all the college bars are in Austin.) and drinking and whatnot, I get a call from her. She tells me to come pick her up. I do like an idiot. At this point it's like 2-3am. We go get some coffee and she tells me the same shit different day. She loves me, wants to be with me...etc etc. At this point, I'm not blasted, but I have a some liquid courage in me and I let her have it. Oh sweet justice. I tell her how I'm sick of her doing this to me, and that if it falls apart again after this time, don't bother calling me back etc etc. She says she's sorry for how she's treated me and that she blames her sorority sisters, etc or some BS like that. She then insists on going back to my place. We do and at this point, it's like 3-4am. I'm tired and damn near just fall on the floor to pass out. As I lay in bed, she gets all friendly with me and tells me she'll make it up to me. Next thing I know she's naked in front of me. NICE! I take her home in the morning thinking maybe this could be the turn around. BULLSHIT! I fall for it again. I hear nothing from her for the next few weeks. Of course she calls me to tell me to fuck off and that she never wants to see me again. I had been used. I was her safety guy. She knew she could always come to me because I would never turn her away. From the I never heard from her. Last I heard she had dropped out of UT.

Fast forward to yesterday. I get an IM from her saying "remember me?" As soon as I saw that I should have said what I really felt which would have been "fuck off and die you god damn cunt. You are the worst thing to ever happen to me. You are an awful human being. I hope I'm dead before I ever have to see you again!!!" Of course I don't because I'm a pussy and say "oh hey whats up." God damn. Anyway by the time I reply she's already put up an away message saying "Playing with Paris (I'm married and have a beautiful daughter)" When I saw that, I was like WTF!!!! Never have I ever been so happy in my entire life. That poor bastard that is married to her could have been me. I was seriously going to freak out if she sad that was my daughter. I'd would have been on some Jerry Springer getting some DNA testing on.

At the hound as usual, we're waited on my Isis. She's great. She has found a new boy she's interested who is a totally lucky guy. As we get home I started to think about how none of my relationships are ever more than like 6 months with good g/fs. My last girl was great, but we broke up b/c I was moving back to Dallas where as she was still in school at UT. I begin to think how I never have had long relationships. My online buddy says she things I get myself into this "self destructive, go no where relationships" because I fear commitment and that I don't want anything long term. Coud be subconsciously I am doing this on purpose, probably. Sigh...I don't know what to think. I'm not really sure where I want to be in life really, yet I'm trying to pin point some goal i'm going towards. Problem is that I'm not really sure what that goal is. Well I'm gonna go hope on my bike and go for a ride, maybe clear my thoughts. It could be that I'm trying to so hard to have goals in my life, that I just don't enjoy what I have right now.

This was an awesome weekend. I spent a good amount of time on my bike. Just went riding around on Saturday and Sunday. Great times.

I hung out with J-Dub on Saturday night and went to the local Main Street art festival. It was great. I haven't been to this festival since I left for college. It was a good time, just walking around and checking out all the art work and stuff. I got in touch with my hippie side that I lost when I left Austin...lol. After walking around went to the hound, but it was interesting with just me and J-Dub. We sat at the bar and just kinda talked about work and other stuff. She's not bad in a one on one situation.

After everything I'm back here in Milwaukee, but this worst thing happened. My watch crapped out on me. Now most of you would say, just get a new one, but when this is your dad's old Rolex he gave you and it's older than you, you sorta have a hard time just replacing it. Sigh...

I've also noticed something among all friends. A lot of them are getting married. WTF!!! I thought in your early 20s you're all about going out and partying and whatnot. Here all my friends are getting married now. NUTS!!!

I'm sitting at work just waiting for my time to leave or the airport. It's about 4:30pm right now and I still have about 30 minutes to go until I leave for my 6:50pm flight. I hope it's not delayed. Today has been a complete was of my day. Actually if I really wanted to push it, I could leave at 5:30 and still make it on time since it takes about 15 minutes to get to the airport. I might just do that since there is really nothing else for me to do at the airport either. Back to the waste of a day. I pretty much have 2 critical things I do everyday now. I report on the status of the projects to the big wigs and I update a spreadsheet to monitor the progress of the customization specs of the program is going. The status report use to take me about 1.5 to 2 hours everyday but now takes about an hour since there isn't much activity going on. The customization sheet use to take me up to 4-5 hours when blueprint was coming to an end but now since blueprint is over, it takes me about 30 minutes to an hour to update. I run the status report every morning at 8am. I was done at about 9:30am taking my time. I sat until 12 and just surfed and zoned out until lunch. Grabbed lunch from the cafe downstairs and brought it back up to eat at my desk since everyone else was busy doing something. I update the customization sheet at 1pm everyday and finished that at 1:30pm. Since then until now, I have had nothing to do. When people say they have nothing to do, they usually mean it's something can put off until later or they're working on something right there that isn't super important or takes only like 10 minutes to. I on the other hand have NOTHING to do. I have surfed, payed my CC bill, read CNN about 20 times today, read up on some soccer news, sent a text here and there, read some F1 news, walked around, talked to other people, took a 30 minute union break, and some other things I do not remember now. I was pretty much paid to sit. I have no problem with that, but I feel like I could have tried to catch the earlier flight and get home but that in itself has it's draw backs because it would put me into Dallas at like 6pm which is still rush hour traffic. Also my lead wouldn't appreciate it too much either in case some happens and she needs me. Pretty much I'm on call right now. Oh well, better to sit and do nothing and get paid for it vs be busy as hell.

Fun survey question time

1) Name 3 people you'd like to have lunch with.

2) Name 3 people you'd like to have sex with.

3) Where do you want to be right now? Can be a place on earth, or a point in your life...whatever. Answer how you want to interpret it.

4) How many anytime minutes do you have on your cell phone?

5) Use 5 words to describe yourself

6) Favorite number?

7) list 3 live changing events.

So I was fisting this hot chick the other night...

Got your attention now...bitch.

Last week was pretty good. Since Blueprint is done on my project most my job has pretty much taken a step back. As you could have seen from my posts, I can probably I only had about 20-30 hours of real work. The rest of it I spent just sitting and surfing the net, reading the mess out of CNN, and figuring out my finances. I also got back on the workout train. I actually worked out all last week. For those wondering, I am on the navy seal work out, Seal Workout. I have cut out part of it in that I am not really into swimming that much, other than the occasional outing to the water park, lake or beach. It is more of a hassle to me if I am just doing it as a workout. Currently I am on week 1 of category 1. Back in college, I was up to week 5 or 6 on cat. 1. I was in awesome shape. I was a huge meat head or anything which I am glad for because I do not want to be big ass an ox for no damn reason. Luckily for me I do not really get any bigger than where I am now, but I was cut which is exactly what I was looking for. Not only that, but on Friday after work I talked to my project manager and he said that I do not have to stay in Milwaukee for Go-Live weekend, and he said I could have May 19th off. That means I'll be heading out to SF Cali. that weekend to hang out with beetlejude who I have not seen in since he moved out there.

Saturday was great in that I rode my bike pretty much most of the day. elmnopo and I rode out to Weatherford to get a new O-ring but on his brakes since it was leaking fluid all over the place. After that was put in, we were going to meet frisinator, johnnygomez, Stacy (Fris' new prospect), and Dave (Fris' twin brother) to go blow up shit on Gram's ranch. Well after about 2-3 miles to the ranch to the shop, bro's brakes begin to lock up. We head back and they go to town on the Master Cylinder on the brakes. Come to find out, there is a return valve that lets the brake fluid come back to the reservoir so the brakes do not stay clamped on to the disk. This valve is about the size of the high E string on a guitar. The size of the valve was not bigger than 1cm at best. Well the valve was filled with junk since the bike has sat around for about 20 years, brake fluid turns to a thick tar like substance after a while. The shop guys were able to clean it out and then it was smooth sailing from there. After 3 brake jobs, the bike is not in full working condition. The plan now is to give it back to my uncle and bro is going to start looking or a new bike. At the range we go blow some shit up. Bro gets his revenge in that he got to shoot his old pager. JUSTIFIED!! We also had a full bottle of shaving cream that the top broke up and was unusable. When bro shot it, it looked like something out of a bukkake movie. Just white foam like shit everywhere. Some of the foam shot back at us and we were about 10-15 feet away. CRAZY!!! Of course I had my digi cam with me taking video and pictures, but then the bad times set in. I got a memory stick error. Bad news. I cannot access anything. So we then ride home to a family get together to honor my grand mom and feast on great amounts of food. I forget about the memory stick because there's nothing I can do about it for now so why worry. We head to the Hound as usual to have a drink. I got a Newcastle I was craving for and a Black Velvet that was just awesome. The Guinness was extra smooth. Fresh keg I guess, but wow, it was good stuff. Of course the night gets better when Kristen, and Isis show up. They are waitress at the Hound and known us since forever since we spend so much time there. We all sit and drink and have a great time. Then the situation gets interesting when bro's fiancée shows up. Tensions felt a little high, but she left after about an hour. Quite the interesting time.

All in all it's been a pretty good weekend. I did not get anything done really that i needed to get done, like get a new vacuum or clean the house but then again you just need a weekend where you just forget it all. Next weekend will be fun times that way with cleaning and such. I might even order that leather jacket I have been thinking about. I need to go try on some sizes at the shop before I order online.

http://www.npr.org/programs/waitwait/

This is a great program to listen to at work.